Welcome to our inaugural blog entry! This blog will share interesting insights from our sophisticated analytics platform that our data scientists have built. In order to bring you the following data, our data scientists have parsed the data from over 100 million impressions (and the same number of smiles?) on our users’ lock screens since we launched earlier this February.
We’ve broken down our commentary to represent what a man and a woman would say in each type of relationship. Please note that we’re assuming all these relationships are heterosexual (for better or for worse) since we’re not able to determine otherwise. Enjoy!
He Said: Bros, keg stand, fist-bump, gym, repeat
She Said: My girls, wine and sangria, girls-only dance circle, gym, cat memes
In a Relationship
He Said: She’s not like anybody else I’ve ever dated. But she hasn’t responded to my last text. Should I send her another one…? Oh god, I just sent her three unanswered texts.
She Said: I really like this guy, but I wish he’d stop being so needy. Doesn’t he have anything better to do than to smother me? *Eyeroll, hairflip, smile to herself*
He Said: Why can’t she return my calls? Doesn’t she realize our wedding is only 3 months away?! I should’ve seen this coming before I liquidated my Ferrari fund.
She Said: When did he become such a spaz? Caterers, shmaterers, he needs to recognize I got weight to lose and nails to get did.
He Said: Work, bills, nagging, Netflix, kids(?), repeat
She Said: Why doesn’t he text or call me like he used to? What’s a girl gotta do to get a little romance around here?
He Said: I met her one time at a party and now she tells me her mom knows my middle name and her grandparents can’t wait for me to go over for Uncle Jim’s cat’s bar mitzvah.
She Said: OMG, did he receive my last text? Did I have bad reception when I sent it? Does he have bad reception? Is he stuck in an elevator? Does he not like me? Is he with another girl? Call me, maybe?
Contrary to popular belief, men care more than women about their relationships than women do (ok, there may be other factors involved, but just roll with it). However, the amount they care decreases as the relationship progresses and becomes more serious.
Ladies, if you want to keep your man in check, keep him at arms-length for as long as possible.
Gents, what can I say, keep it complicated for best results.
This may or may not be terrible dating advice written by a bachelor whose most applicable hashtag is #foreveralone.
We hope you enjoyed our fun facts. Feel free to use it to start some interesting conversations. And don’t forget to subscribe for more cool updates!
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